Yes. You read it right. I'm in love.
I have been in love since July 20. I remember it being the day after my birthday, at 6 in the morning, and I just went from anxious to giddy. I couldn't contain my excitement that I felt the need to tell everyone who mattered that another important person was about to come into my life.
From July to August, like someone who'd just entered a relationship, I had both highs and lows, certainties and doubts. I was happy one minute, crying the next.
Then someone said what I had was beautiful; that there was a beating heart. And just a few minutes ago, I told my husband I'm in love with a boy. Our baby boy.
Yes. I'm going to be a mom!!
I know. It's been a while since I've become pregnant (two years and almost a month after my first pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage), let alone, blogged. What triggered this post was the private album about baby boy that I uploaded for family members and the closest of my friends to see. I thought, I'm not really full-on celebrating our little one's beating heart and his rolling and kicking in my tummy. In fact, while I constantly blog about random stuff and spend hours editing bag, travel and food photos on Instagram and Facebook, I'm doing our little one a huge injustice by not documenting his hurrahs and milestones the way I did with his older angel sibling.
So here it is. I'm setting aside the doubts and fears. I'm throwing caution to the wind. Baby Boy, after all, has come this far and I need to fight and celebrate with him his victories.
WEEK 3 - The Day I Found Out
3 Weeks 3 Days (July 20, 2014; 6 am)
It was two days after Sergs's birthday and a day after mine. I had been having non-stop trips to the bathroom even if at the end, I was just peeing little quantities of urine. I knew it could be a pregnancy symptom. While I also knew it was a little too early for my period, a teeny voice urged me to test. Good thing I still had a leftover POAS (pee on a stick) test from the month before. After two or three minutes, I found myself waking up Sergs and showing him the result. I swear. It was rare to see him wake up smiling with an alert voice and alert eyes. Hehe.
WEEK 5 - Convince Me This Is Normal!
5 Weeks 3 Days
Spotting that progressed to bleeding, that is. I had been having non-stop spotting since the day I thought I had an implantation, well, with only a day's break. I had been back and forth between Dr. Google and my two OBGYNs and had been constantly going to the toilet to check how my spotting was progressing. Note that by this time, I had already had an urgent care appointment the week prior (my first spotting after what's supposed to be the implantation bleeding) and several trips to the lab for HCG levels. This fifth week and third day, however, was different in the sense that I thought I was losing another pregnancy. The spotting, which I had attributed to my active lifestyle, had been increasing in quantity since my fourth week appointment and seeing a period-like bleeding in my pad had me calling my work supervisor to say I was miscarrying.
Suffice to say, I was excused from work for that day and given a medical certificate that would keep me on modified bed rest for the rest of the week and for the week thereafter c/o the kind urgent care doctor. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Upon arriving at the medical clinic, the bleeding had stopped (I changed pads to monitor changes). I was told that my cervix was still closed (not dilated!) and that, based on my medical history, it could be fibroids. Or scar tissue.
Or not. The transvaginal ultrasound showed a thickening uterus with a sac that "possibly" contained a fetal pole. It was just too fuzzy and too teeny to distinguish. And the bleeding? The diagnosis was Subchorionic Hematoma or SCH. Those with SCH have blood clots that form within the placenta layers probably as a result of implantation.
WEEK 6 - First Milestone (A Beating Heart)
6 Weeks 3 Days
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Slightly to the southeast of the gestational sac is the SCH. And look!
A definite fetal pole inside the gestational sac. |
From the time I started spotting, my husband and I have been saying the novena to St. Gerard, the patron saint of expectant mothers. Since I never got to reach hear a thumpety-thump with my first pregnancy, foremost in our prayer was to hear a beating heart. And beat baby's heart did.
Still spotting (oh by the way, Dr. Google, my OBGYNs and some friends told me SCH is more common than anyone can ever imagine) but fortunately no longer bleeding and hit badly with morning sickness, I was whisked into the medical clinic and barely had any room to breathe or time to prepare when my doctor pointed our child's beating heart. Honestly? All I could distinctly remember that day was hearing our baby's heartbeat. All 116 beats per minute of it. :)
WEEK 7 - Not Again!
7 Weeks 1 Day
A bleeding episode. Again.
But!
Baby's still okay and was developing well so much so that in spite of the narrower but longer image of the SCH hovering on top of the sac, very distinctive was baby's head. Something tells me this little one's a fighter.
By this time, I'd gone from April Fool's Day of 2015 as my due date to April 2.
WEEK 10 - A Moving Alien
10 Weeks 3 Days
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Sorry, Baby. With your big head, big eyes and circles for hands,
for a minute, I thought I was carrying an alien. |
Two weeks prior, a week after my seventh week bleeding, I think I bled again. But like all the other bleeding episodes, it stopped, the scare being replaced by yet again something wonderful: A moving baby.
By the 10th week, however, there were no more bleeding episodes. The spotting had even decreased in quantity. Now whether or not this was because the SCH was healing on its own the way it's normally supposed to or because I had not been exercising as intensely as I normally would (I was even banished from incline walking by the urgent care doctor on Week 8!), I don't know. What I do know is that, during this scheduled appointment (no longer an urgent care!), we saw our baby moving once again and that I seriously thought my baby's face looked like that of an alien's during the ultrasound.
WEEK 12 - *&$%!@
11 Weeks 6 Days
I read the instructions. I read it twice. Actually, I read it thrice. I even asked a work colleague if I understood it correctly.
For the regular 12th week appointment, otherwise known as the dreaded anomaly scan (to compare results of my Down Syndrome blood screening to ultrasound images), I was instructed to drink at least 24 oz (or 3 glasses) of water starting one hour prior to my 8 am appointment. I was told to not void (not pee). And as if this were not bad enough for someone like me, who, pre-pregnancy, peed within 45 minutes of drinking a ton of water, my appointment was in San Francisco.
San Francisco!
Oh this one's for the books. San Francisco is 30 minutes by car from our house in South San Francisco if you take into consideration the normal weekday morning rush hour traffic. By the time my husband stopped in front of the Kaiser Medical Center in San Francisco on Geary, I could barely get off the car. At the waiting area, each minute I wasn't called after my schedule at 8 am, all 10 torture-filled minutes of it, I was threatening to go to the toilet to relieve myself.
And what do you know?! The tech saw my bladder as being too full that she made me release two cups.
But back to our baby's stats. Hubby and I were so amazed to see a more well developed miniature human being. Yep. No longer an alien. What's more, our little one passed the Down Syndrome Screening for the first trimester! Milestone Numero Dos! And before I forget, no more SCH! What a way to say goodbye to the first trimester!
WEEK 20 - Team Blue Wins!
19 Weeks 4 Days
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| Look closely. There's little boy's secret in the middle. :) |
Around this time, I definitely had been feeling the baby move since Week 18. But until the yet again 8 am ultrasound, this time, in Daly City (my work shift at the SFO Airport started at 10:30 am), I had yet to know if my wiggling baby would make Team Blue or Team Pink rejoice.
For my anatomy scan, the first thing the ultrasound technician asked me was if I would like to know what we're having. I find this a very respectful procedure question as there are some women (like my boss who's also pregnant), for their own personal reasons which shopaholic me (I'm tired of unisex baby clothes!) would neither accept nor understand, who choose not to know. So what did I say? Why "yes", of course! :)
Let me also just say that for this scan, I was made to drink only two glasses. But then, the instruction was slightly different. I was instructed to stop drinking one hour before the appointment. I frankly do not know which was worse. The fluid instructions during Week 12 or this one. But as expected, I was asked to void and this time, the tech needed an empty bladder. I was mentally clapping when she said I would fill back up fast as anyway, I seem pretty well-hydrated. Yay!
As for the big reveal? It had me hearing the word "scrotum" and "penis" and seeing the actual images. Yup. There's no denying it. We're having a baby boy!
When I got home, I compared baby boy's development photos from the 12th week to the 20th week. It was a huge gap. A two-month gap to be exact. He's looking plump for his first before and after and taking after mommy not only with his rounded forehead and chubby cheeks, but also with his refusal to budge (he was too comfortable in his sitting position) so the tech could take photos of all the angles of his heart. Lol. And what do I think he got from his daddy? His nose and possibly, his eyes!
WEEK 21 - Caught In The Act!
20 Weeks 6 Days
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Yawning? Laughing? Drinking?
Dr. Google and the ultrasound tech say he's drinking (the amniotic fluid, that is). |
So because baby boy refused to give the poor tech the image she wanted, I had to go back for a second ultrasound. Hubby and I thought it's probably our naughty little one's way of wanting us to see him again.
And did we see him! In spite of him wiggling in place, he wasn't budging at first for a better view of his heart's angles. The tech got "creative" and made me pee (I was made to drink only 8 oz or 1 glass before the scan!). When it didn't work, she got even more creative and made me dance while waiting for her to come back with cold grape juice (they say something sour, sugary and cold could make babies move in utero).
Ten minutes after drinking the juice, my tech came back to see me laying on my left side, coaxing little boy to shift positions. With a little more prodding c/o the tech's ultrasound wand, the anatomy scan was finally completed.
Before leaving, we were even treated to a little show from our baby boy: We saw him opening his mouth to drink my amniotic fluid! And he did this twice! That grape juice must have tasted so good! :)
__________________________
A beating heart. A wiggling body. An opening mouth. Wow! What a glorious affirmation of life! Our baby boy has grown from a mere poppy seed (and of course, even smaller) to a now almost a foot long carrot.
I don't know if we'll have another chance to see an ultrasound of our baby boy before the April 2 due date. I desperately want a 3D photo of his face. Sadly, Kaiser doesn't allow it unless it's needed even if I offer to pay out of pocket. Until then, my husband, Sergs, and I, will continuously be praying for a healthy, safe and normal pregnancy, for baby to come out alive with no complications for him and for me and for my husband and me to have the physical, mental and spiritual strength and the resources to raise our little one in God's name.
I love you, my little one. Mommy can't wait to hold you in her arms. I'll see you in April, my prince. <3
