For My Dad: My Hilary Swank-Robert De Niro Moment

About to watch 'New Year's Eve' on New Year's Eve....



..... so went my Facebook status a few hours ago. Caught for the first time a bus to the Tanforan Mall in San Bruno from Daly City just to accomplish this regular mission of mine of being touched by a feel-good movie. Never really thought I'd go past my usual "aww" and "haha" moment.

Somewhere in this link is my "past-my-usual-aww-and-haha-moment". If from this blog site's description you could already surmise I'm a daddy's girl then for sure you'd know I could identify with Hilary Swank's character in the film. I am Hilary Swank's Claire Morgan. My dad is Robert De Niro's Stan Harris.

You see my father, my daddy, is not perfect. But he is as sweet as any father can be to me, his daughter. I'm sure that in his own way, provided that if he were somehow a little better than he actually is (right now), he would want to be with me however far I am; that he would want to silently witness and cheer for how I've been and for how I have managed to raise and eventually pull down a giant crystal ball.


Happy New Year, daddy. In my dreams I am beside you, my head resting on your shoulder and you kissing my hand.

This Christmas

... will be my first in the US with my husband.
... will be my first away from my dad.
... will be my first with my first job in the US.
... will be my first without a 13th month pay.
... will be my first with my first Louis Vuitton bag, however pathetic this sounds.
... will be my first with an iPhone and not with a Nokia, again, however pathetic this sounds.
... will be my first wishing [now] more than an ever that a baby is on the way.
... will be my first feasting my eyes on San Francisco Christmas lights.
... will be my first without the Ayala decors.
... will be my first [literally] cold Christmas.
... will be my Christmas of my many firsts.

It's happy. It's sad. It's luxurious. It's expensive. It's a first in a totally and completely different way. There's a yin and a yang ring to it. And then there's the birth of our Savior.

The birth.

A birthday, any birthday, it is usually a cause for celebration. But this one's that of our Savior  -  our Savior who eventually died on the Cross so that from then on and in the centuries to come we'll have a Christmas that's brimming with lessons, like the bittersweet fruitcake in tragedies and like the glistening snow in the purity of joy.